Bea says "Carrie-Ann's story of the birth of their first baby, Arthur shows that just because you don't get your plan A, doesn't mean hypnobirthing goes out the window, and you don't get your positive birth. Carrie-Ann and Nick fully emersed themselves in to hypnobirthing and I'm so excited for you to hear their story."
Our journey to birth
We found Bea via a pregnancy yoga class, after she did a quick intro to hypnobirthing and my husband Nick and I decided the class would be great for us to attend. The topics discussed were great and benefited us both - after the classes Nick said he felt more useful during the end of pregnancy and birth.
The classes were informative and the knowledge Bea provides is brilliant and delivered in an easy to digest way. She allowed questions to be asked, sent resources via email after class and homemade treats
What the courses really helped me with was the knowledge that enabled me to be assertive with my birth plan and have control in my situation and gave me the confidence to push back when midwives started talking about induction at 41 weeks. Without Bea, I would have gone along with all the NHS standard plans.
At my 40 week midwife appointment, they mentioned induction to me - and I was firm and said as per my birth plan, I do not want to discuss induction unless I reach 42 weeks unless I asked about it myself. This was understood and the midwife noted it down and asked how I felt about a possible cervical sweep. I said if I reached 41 weeks and felt uncomfortable I would be open to the discussion of one. That I wanted to let my body do what it knew it had to do.
By the time of my 41 week appointment, I was getting uncomfortable and I'd also passed my mucus plug so I knew my body had started the labour process, so I decided to have a cervical sweep.
Sarah, the midwife was incredible, and took time to ensure that I still wanted to have it done and consented to the procedure. Luckily I was already 2-3cm dilated, and she was confident the sweep would get me to 4cm and bring on labour - so confident in fact she said she'd see us the next day when I was in labour as she was on shift then! The rest of the day was pretty normal and I went up to bed as usual.
Labour starts!
At 1am I woke up with a cramp feeling and went to the toilet. The cramp came back 15 mins later and I thought to myself, 'oh god maybe this is a contraction' - I'd had no braxton hicks and this was my first child so I had no reference point for contractions. I waited to see if it happened again, and it did so I woke Nick up . He helped get me changed into some joggers and baggy t-shirt and we went to the living room.
Nick knew the birth plan, and he got the ball out for me to sit on/lean on, and he got my labour playlist playing (a calm one, I had 2 - one calm, one heavy metal depending what mood I was in!). He noted down rough times and lengths of my contractions and talked to me through them, as we knew when I couldn't talk it was time to go to St Mary's Birth Centre. He loaded the hospital bags in the car (mine, baby's and my food bag!), made sure I had water and gave me a snack. He also put the tens machine we'd hired onto my back for me - this was great! Nick was so calm it helped me stay calm during this early phase, we knew it could be awhile before I was more established to go in, so we settled in for a wait.
By 3.30am I could only just talk through a contraction so we called St Mary's and headed in and went straight to the birthing room, all set up by Emma Parr (I lucked out having her on call that night!). She'd set it up as per my birth plan notes - dark, calm music playing, bed high so I could lean on it, ball blown up if needed. She knew I'd done hypnobirthing with Bea - and knew what I'd be wanting.
I progressed well at St Mary's, and Emma was there following my plan. She was asking questions to Nick so I could focus on contractions. Nick was alternating my drinks between water and still lucozade, he knew my hand signals for when I wanted a drink! He was there to hold my hand and tell me I was doing great. Emma was conscientious about asking if I wanted to know how far dilated I was and I did accept a couple of exams to check - which led to us knowing that I was actually constipated and I needed to clear my bowels before I would progress more. So I had to push on contractions to try and clear my bowels - a bit undignified when you're leaning over a bed with a toilet pad on the floor to catch it, but by this point, I didn't care!
After a couple of hours like this, the tens machine was on level 5 and I was feeling the contractions get worse, so I asked for the gas and air. Emma and Nick both checked that I definitely wanted it. Coupled with the tens machine I was coping much better!
Change of plans...
By 7am my waters had finally broken (and my bowels were clear!), however there was meconium in them. Emma was calm when explaining to me that this meant transfer into hospital just on the small chance baby could aspirate the meconium. As I already knew this, I felt much better about not staying at St Mary's like I planned.
The midwife who did my sweep (Sarah) was on duty by this point and came to see us - she ended up going with me in the ambulance to the Leicester Royal Infirmary and helped me out massively. Nick had to go in our car and I didn't actually realise much that he wasn't with me as Sarah filled in great. He said he'd never sped so much trying to get there quickly - it was 8.30am on a Monday morning in rush hour going from Melton to the LRI!
I survived the journey and coped with not pushing - thanks to Sarah, gas & air and hypnobirthing breathing and calming techniques. We got to the LRI at 9am and we got up to the delivery room and I met the new midwife who would look after me, Vicky - she'd been briefed on the situation and my birth plan. The room was dimmed but no music and didn't have it in me to ask for mine to be connected.
Vicky got me set up leaning over the bed for pushing or on it on all fours, and with some water. By 9.40am Nick had arrived - calm to me but mentioned to the midwife that he'd been panicking he'd missed his son's birth! He jumped straight back into making sure I had water, he got me a banana to help me with energy and fixed the tubes/wires for the tens machine and gas & air as they'd got twisted.
I'd managed to move baby loads by 10am, but my hips and knees were hurting by this point, as I'd been following my plan for pushing positions, but I just couldn't do it anymore. Vicky was amazing and calmly talked to me about it by asking if I wanted to try other positions and save the pain or keep going (this was great as I had in my plan that I didn't want to be forced into any back laying position). I agreed to try on my back for a bit and she suggested bringing my knees towards my chest and leaning forward over my knees as much as I could - this actually worked great and I was able to move baby along a fair bit again. This was where I remembered breathing techniques from Bea even more, and I breathed through all the contractions.
"I can't do it anymore!"
Nick was reminding me I could do it and was so encouraging when I reached the transition phase - all I remember is screaming 'I can't do this and him calmly saying "yes you can you're in transition so baby is coming soon remember!" This is what we'd learnt about with Bea, and Nick said he felt helpful here as he knew what was happening when I started saying I couldn't do it. Now the tens machine wasn't doing anything and I didn't want anything else, but the gas and air still worked a bit. Nick reminded me that I didn't want any other pain relief, and that I could absolutely do this.
The midwife had asked Nick if they could talk to me about options to get baby boy out quicker as he wasn't coming as quickly as they wanted. He agreed and they gently talked to me saying I was doing really well but it was looking like he was compound (with his hand over his face) and they wanted to know if I thought I could do it alone as they wanted to do an episiotomy to help me. I asked if without the episiotomy I would tear more, and they said more likely I would and it would be more painful needing more stitches. I agreed to the episiotomy (obviously not in the plan but I knew it was best to get baby out quicker, I was flagging now just wanting him out safely). The doctor who did the cut was amazing - she spoke to me at the head of the bed first and explained what she would do, then went to the foot of the bed to start. She explained it all while it was being done, and I had Vicky and Nick at the head of the bed helping with gas and air, drinks and encouragement.
Thanks to the local anesthetic (and likely the gas and air!) the episiotomy didn't hurt at all and I was told baby boy was moving much better. However he was definitely compound - confirmed Nick who decided this would be the opportunity to take a look at his son crowning! The doctor said they wanted to use the kiwi suction to help me and I knew I just couldn't get him out by pushing alone and I just wanted him out safe. Even though I didn't want the kiwi in the plan, at this point I knew I needed the help - but hypnobirthing meant I understood what I needed and I was able to understand why the staff wanted to use it.
I remember shouting between contractions to use it and get him out safely. The midwife encouraged me to push - she wasn't coaching me as per my plan but just encouraging, and then I just remember the pain being a bit less. I was told his head was out! I knew then there wouldn't be much more to do and it would be much easier. A couple of pushes and they said he was out, and then the next thing I know I had a baby on my chest.
Meeting our baby boy!
Nick was there with me and just looked at me and said I did it, he was proud and couldn't believe baby boy was here. I was so exhausted I barely registered that my legs were still in stirrups and that my placenta was coming out and I was on the way to be stitched up.
The team gave us the golden hour we wanted. Vicky helped me out of my top as she knew I wanted to try breastfeeding. She was great and got me set up so baby Arthur could root on my chest and he latched on straight away. I don't remember much from that hour, just a rush of love, exhaustion and some pain once the local anesthetic wore off a bit.
A difficult postpartum
Arthur and I had to stay overnight at the LRI to ensure all was ok, and even though we were looked after, I will say it wasn't the experience I wanted. Once on the ward, they said Nick could stay until midnight and come back at 9am the next day. I was prepared for this as Bea mentioned that hospitals don't allow partners to stay overnight, however nothing prepared me for the first night. After the birth, blood loss, drip etc I was still weak and could barely lift Arthur out of the the crib to feed him, and couldn't lean over the crib comfortably to change him. There was only 1 midwife for the 4 women in my bay, so we didn't get full care. I needed support in making sure Arthur was latched on correctly for breastfeeding and didn't feel like I got much time. I think I got maybe 2 hours of broken sleep that night!
During the next day, no one was asking me how I felt, how feeding was going, or if I was ok with anything happening to me. Arthur had all of his needed checks and everyone was great with them, but I just wanted to leave. At 6pm, I was able to go to St Mary's for postnatal support. I must have been assertive (thanks again to Bea helping me know what I could do - I'd been messaging her in the day and she'd reiterated it all to me) as they got everything sorted.
By 11pm that night, Arthur and I were set up in St Mary's where there were only 2 other women - this service is majorly under utilised! I spent one more night in St Mary's to ensure I was fully confident in breast feeding. The staff were so helpful, encouraging me to buzz them each time Arthur was hungry so they could help me latch him on in a variety of positions - giving me skills to take home with me and helping build my confidence. During the day they would check on us every 30-60 mins, they asked me how I was doing, how I was feeling and coping and if I needed anything. They told me to shower, to eat, to nap etc and I honestly felt amazing by the time we left there at 3pm on the Thursday after Arthur was born.
Feeding problems
During the 4 weeks after he was born, I had a lot of breastfeeding issues - and Bea was there to support through all of them. I keep saying I've never sent someone so many photos and videos of my breasts - but she was always there for any little issue I had, or when I felt something had gone well she was my biggest cheerleader and supporter besides Nick.
By 2 weeks old, Arthur had not regained all of his birth weight and I had latching issues, and pain/cracked nipples. The health visitors said he didn't have a tongue tie - but they merely looked in his mouth when he was crying, they are not trained to assess this properly. They were happy with the feeding positions, but not happy he wasn't gaining weight.
I had to push to get a referral to the infant feeding team to get him fully looked at. I pushed for this on a Wednesday, and got an appointment for a week later. On the Thursday I saw Bea, and explained all of this - she watched Arthur feeding and said "99% sure he has a tongue tie". I felt validated! She gave me the name of someone private locally who could help, and by Saturday morning he had been assessed as having a bad posterior tongue tie, and it was divided! Would have taken 8-12 weeks on the NHS if they'd actually diagnose him with it. After a difficult appointment at the infant feeding clinic where I essentially was told to keep persevering with breastfeeding even though I was in so much pain, made me leave feeling discouraged.
Over the next week my anxiety got worse. Discussions with him and supportive chats with Bea, led to me deciding to stop breastfeeding (at least until my nipples healed) and for Arthur to be bottle fed formula. After 5 days on formula, Arthur shot straight over this birth weight and I did take some joy in pointing this out the same health visitor who said breastfeeding didn't have any issues - I learnt here to always trust my mum instinct! Stopping was definitely the right decision for us.
I feel...
Looking back over the birth, I feel positive about the experience. I was in control throughout it, and the teams were all respectful of my plan and wishes. Without the hypnobirthing course, I think I would have been led to having an earlier sweep which might not have worked, and then I'd have been in the common trap of being on the induction plan. As I wouldn't have known about everything, I'd have followed everything and done as the midwives said - I genuinely believe without the hypnobirthing knowledge that I would have ended up on the path to an unnecessary c-section. Thanks to Bea for all her amazing continued support!
Carrie-ann Silverwood (plus Nick and baby Arthur) xxx
Thank you so much to Carrie-ann for sharing her birth story with Arthur (the first time I read it, I cried!). I love having all birth stories to show to pregnant families, showing that it isn't just water births that are a positive experience and you can have a change of plan and still have a positive birth! This is what my hypnobirthing courses prepare you for - all types of birth!
I'd love to have you join my hypnobirthing courses - I have group courses and 1:1 courses available, ready for you to feel calm, confident and in control of your birth!
Want to do hypnobirthing with us?
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