"Whatever you do, don't co-sleep with your baby" - say the health professionals.
Well, some may say that, but really they shouldn't anymore according to the more recent NICE guidelines (but more on that later).
New parents have the fear of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) instilled into them right from the beginning. And years ago, the advice was that you should never ever co-sleep (have your baby in the bed with you) ever. Because your baby might die. I mean, that's pretty terrifying right? So we're now in a societal idea that co sleeping = dangerous.
The problem is 9 in 10 parents co-sleep at some point. So its really really common to co-sleep. Meaning it's not helpful to just tell parents not to co-sleep with their baby, because over half of those parents reported that they didn't know how to co-sleep safely. The problems and safety issues come when co-sleeping is: 1) unplanned, 2) in hazardous
situations. This is why in my hypnobirthing and infant feeding sessions, I teach you how to co-sleep safely because every new parent should know how to do this, and you may not be taught it from a healthcare professional. Book here - https://www.beasbirthandboobs.co.uk/book
Shall we break this down a bit?
In 2017, 183 babies sadly died of SIDS in the UK. Around half of those babies were in a cot or moses basket and half were co-sleeping.
Sounds about an equal risk doesn't it?
However, 90% of the co-sleeping deaths occurred in hazardous situations. These hazardous situations are usually preventable and measures can be put in place to ensure the set up is safe.
So you could actually argue that possibly co-sleeping is even safer than cot sleeping as it seems more SIDS deaths occur in a cot than in SAFE co-sleeping.
Something that we think may be helpful in terms of co-sleeping is that baby tends to rouse and feed more frequently (no this isn't a bad thing or bad habit). This works as a protective factor against SIDS. A baby that is 'sleeping through the night' is at greater risk of SIDS when they are going into that deep sleep. Frequently feeding is good, healthy and protective.
What makes a hazardous situation to co-sleep?
Either parents in the bed have drunk alcohol
Either parents in the bed smoke
Either parents in the bed take medication that makes them drowsy (or other drugs)
Co-sleeping occurred on the sofa or in an armchair/nursing chair
Baby was born premature or has a low birth weight (under 2.5kg/5.5lb)
How do you co-sleep safely?
Firstly, my biggest top tip is to plan to co-sleep each night, even if it's not what you want to do. Many parents accidentally fall asleep while trying to stay awake feeding/rocking/holding their baby and wake up in a panic. Each night, plan and set up an environment safe for co-sleeping so if you do accidentally fall asleep, its a safe set up. It's far safer to do this than fight against it when you're sleep deprived and accidentally falling asleep.
Use the 'cuddle curl' - on your side, facing baby, bring your knees up and your arm around the top of baby's head like a 'C' around baby. This is a protective factor as it stops you from rolling and keeps baby nice and safe in that little curl.
Pillows and bedding away from baby - you can tuck your duvet between your knees and up to waist height and pop an arm under your pillow as a barrier between that and baby.
Baby placed on a clear, flat surface with a firm mattress.
No gaps around the bed that baby could get wedged in to or trapped.
Have the breast/chest feeding parent in the middle of the bed if you are sharing together, and baby on the end, rather than baby in the middle (some parents use a side car cot/crib to help with this - a bit like an extension to the bed).
Ideally no other children or pets in the bed, particularly on the side baby is on.
Underdress your baby - your body heat will be additional warmth so they'll need less layers. The warmer baby is, the more at risk to SIDS.
Baby on their back - if you breastfeed, they may roll on to their side to feed and then eventually roll on to their back again.
If possible, breastfeed - this is a super emotive subject and it IS safe to co-sleep with your baby if you formula feed. Formula feeding does increase the risk of SIDS (do remember the risk of SIDS for all babies is 0.03% so very small) so if you are able and want to breastfeed, this does help. As ever, if you need support, please reach out https://www.beasbirthandboobs.co.uk/infant-feeding
What should you do?
When it comes to co-sleeping, you should do what your gut is telling you (or what your baby is telling you - they need closeness so sometimes, they decide for us!) There is no right or wrong. You are not creating bad habits by co-sleeping or making a rod for your own back. You are not putting your baby at risk. You aren't going to kill your baby. You aren't going to lose all intimacy with your partner. Yep, these are all comments that have genuinely been made.
Co-sleeping isn't as dangerous as we are originally made to believe. When you look at the research and data, the danger comes when the environment isn't the safe set up. Most of the risk factors are ones that can be eliminated (smoking, sofa sleeping, drinking alcohol) so if you are able to remove these risk factors, there is no reason as to why co-sleeping would still be dangerous.
Plan to co-sleep, even if you don't want to co-sleep
To see what I offer with hypnobirthing and antenatal classes - https://www.beasbirthandboobs.co.uk/hypnobirthing
And infant feeding support - https://www.beasbirthandboobs.co.uk/infant-feeding
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